COVID – Minimally Montessori

I love thrift shopping. I always have. Some of my earliest memories are of my mom and I going to our local thrift shop, finding bags carefully packed with toys. We were pretty poor growing up, so most of my clothing came from thrift shops. I didn’t mind, and I loved being able to find clothes that weren’t trendy. The few times I got new clothing from the store were a huge disappointment. Finding clothes at regular stores as a tomboy preteen in the early 2000’s was an absolute nightmare, full of low rise jeans, short shorts, and god awful logos. I thrived on thrifted skater shirts and shorts originally targeted at boys.

It took me years to figure out type of clothing fit me. Most of the things I bought I had to alter to fit, but because I spent $0.50 on jeans rather than $40, I was willing to experiment with altering. Using different fits from different generations helped me understand why some pieces worked on me, and some didn’t. Eventually, I was able to visualize how something would fit on me but looking at it on the rack.

Post-thrifting photo before I figured out what worked with my body type

While I love thrifting, I know the thought of buying other people’s old items can make some people uncomfortable. Family members used to wear disguises when going into a thrift shop so nobody would recognize them. Granted, this was before thrifting became cool, and people started realizing they could make money off their thrifting hauls. Thrifting has become streamlined and clean, with most of the dirty work already done. My husband didn’t really appreciate the value from thrifting, but I just show him how much it would cost otherwise. Now he only rolls his eyes half the time.

While I was pregnant, I spent my Sundays taking the bus up to the nearest Goodwill. I’d stop in at Starbucks, grab a drink, and walk my way over. I loved the routine. I loved searching through the racks. I stocked up on thrifted clothes for H, finding some things brand new with the tags still on. Now that H is outgrowing a lot, I’ve given away clothing, toys, her baby tub, my maternity clothes. It makes me happy knowing those items have gone on to live in another happy home, and keeps these items out of dumps. I’m all about trying to minimize waste in creative ways. I’m hoping to teach H these values, that there’s no shame in making use of things that other people have given a home to first.

Since Covid, I’ve started spending time going through the free and for sale section of NextDoor, and have picked up some absolute scores. I live in an area where high value items are frequently given away or sold, and I’m definitely excited to benefit from that fact. Nearly new items for free or heavily discounted? I’m there!

The Ikea nightstand I use for H’s bathroom setup

Among other things, I’ve collected a giant plastic bin full of wooden train sets, and endless books that became instant favorites. And I plan on passing them along to another family when we’re all done with them. I really just love finding things secondhand. It’s a mystery, you never know what you’ll find. Plus, you’re doing something good for the environment. It’s a win-win.

Life as a new parent in quarantine

I had H in December 2019. It was cold and rainy day the day we brought her home. I remember the first place we went as a family of three was Target. Dazed, we just walked around, no real goal. We kept a seat cover over her at all times in public, trying to protect her from germs and sickness. We put off seeing friends and family for the first month. The fewer people she saw, the less chance of getting sick she had. “There’s always later”, we said. I wanted to get therapy as my depression lingered too long. “Later”, I told myself. As she got her first shots, we relaxed a little. We went to stores, took her to our favorite restaurant. She slept the entire time. I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. The newborn phase was almost over.

News reports started circulating of an unknown virus. Weeks went by, and suddenly, it was here. All around us. I was helpless as I watched all of the plans we had for H’s first year fall apart around us. My long distance parents and sibling had plans of visiting this year. Gone. We had plans of going to Disneyland. Gone. Plans of visiting home in 2021. Gone. Trips to the library. Gone. Stores. Gone. Play dates. Gone. Everything gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. After half a year of not being able to do anything, I watched my social life slip away. I realized that I was perpetually stuck in the newborn phase. Alone, with no support.

Our first outings were to get baby supplies at Target, and coffee at Starbucks

Here it is, less than a month from H’s first birthday, and I’ve been to a store twice since March. I’ve long since faced the fact that my family won’t see H until she’s closer to 2. I’m worried about what not being around other people for the first couple years of her life will do to H. Will it affect her negatively later on? I mourn the opportunities we’ve missed. The act of taking her to a park is now marred with fear, what if someone passes too close? What if we’re not doing enough? Most of the time, we just don’t go.

As I healed, we would walk around outdoor malls for exercise

This was just not how I imagined the first year of being a parent to go. It’s so lonely, full of doubt and uncertainty. I mourn the support I never got, the ways this already difficult situation was made harder. Even still, I am thankful that I had H when I did, and not a few months later. Because we’ve been stuck at home since March, we’ve really been on vibe with H’s schedule. Our world revolves around her entirely, so our schedule has been optimized entirely for her. We have four adults in the house that adore her, so she always has someone to care for her. And that, I am thankful for. The last 8 months have been a delicate balancing act between being thankful that we got so lucky in our situation, and being emotionally destroyed from shutting down our life for at least a year. It’s been a tough year, but I take comfort in knowing that it isn’t affecting H negatively, at least for now.